Once again English is not my first language so please be patient everypony (! think most of you already know but still)
Great piece of art, another job well done but as always i would like to help you in any way so here are my two cents (not sure if this is how you use that phrase).
1.-So the first thing I notice is that the mane and the tail border are extremely thick specially the inside mane black lines.
2.-The use of shadow improve a ton on this one GREAT JOB but shouldn't we have a shadow on the chest of twilight and the shadow on the left leg still a little bit off but think this is second try and the improvements are astonishing.
3.- ( maybe is just me) but I fell like twilight's head is a little bit flat If you know what I mean.
Once again a great improvement on your technique and hope to see more